tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77586227584036246192024-03-13T03:52:59.424-07:00stacey said...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-9547914206291801672018-03-30T19:41:00.000-07:002018-03-30T19:41:16.021-07:00oh how He lovestoday i had a profound realization in the midst of the mundane.<br />
to set the stage: poor husband has been working nights this week, and in order to actually squeeze out a few hours of sleep, i needed to keep the not so quiet 19 month old occupied. to the store we went! i had this strange compulsion to buy my daughter a baby doll stroller. that day. weird because A) i never buy her toys (thank you generous friends and family!) and B) i always over-think, over-review, over-procrastinate ALL purchases (thank you Amazon Prime!). but no. we needed a doll stroller. and we needed it that day.<br />
at home this new doll stroller reignited a passion for her baby doll. she pushed it around all afternoon, and then took to just carrying it. at one point she picked up the doll from the stroller and signed "cry" (thank you Signing Time!) until i asked if her baby was crying. After replying in the affirmative she sat down and shushed, rocked and kissed that doll while i was stopped in my tracks.<br />
it's not that what she was doing was so special or strange or out of the ordinary, comforting a baby; it's that i realized she learned it from me. because i'm an awesome mom.<br />
jk. because that's how love works.<br />
love is action. it is meeting needs. wiping tears. consoling. disciplining. holding. being present.<br />
i tell my child that i love her everyday. like a hundred times. sometimes she signs back that she loves me. and man does that get me right in the feels. or, more recently, she responds with an emphatic and verbal "no". i am then forced to go into our regular philosophical discussion about how i love her no matter what, nothing she says or does can change it, etc, etc. all that to say: my kid doesn't understand love because i tell her, but rather because i show her. she knows that i love her because i feed her, change her, play with her, hold her, hug her, answer her, rock her, wipe her tears, kiss her booboos. she was merely imitating her reality.<br />
and then i realized the same is true for me. i'm loving my child, meeting her needs, wiping her tears because that is my reality. God is doing those very same things for me, always. he provides before i can ask, he draws me close when i'm hurting, he disciplines me when i stray, and he is always there.<br />
i love how God uses the strangest compulsions to give us yet another glimpse of himself. and i love how his love can't help but pour out of us. <br />
"we love because he first loved us" Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-21535208995440097122011-09-14T11:15:00.000-07:002011-09-14T11:29:07.955-07:00he took the trash out<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://xb7.xanga.com/d978423565330277528329/s141087316.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="http://xb7.xanga.com/d978423565330277528329/s141087316.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />i opened the cabinet under the sink and saw an empty trashcan. no, not a trashcan that was recently emptied of its contents. a trashcan that was missing its bag.<br /><br />i think this is one of my nagging issues in life. i see what isn't there rather than what is, what hasn't been done rather than what has. in this instance my wonderful husband had taken the trash out without even a single prompting from me (he usually does this, and quite well). but he forgot to put a trash bag back in. this often annoys me to no end, and i normally like to point it out to him. but this time something, perhaps a nudging from the holy spirit, stopped me. i realized i would be chastising him for something he didn't do rather than thanking him for something he actually did, and constantly does.<br /><br />it was one of those humbling moments. the kind where i sat back and wondered how many other times i looked at what wasn't rather than what was. how many miracles from god did i overlook because my expectations weren't met? how many acts of service were done unto me that i ignored? how many times did i miss a blessing because it wasn't up to my standard? time for a change in perspective.<br /><br />so i closed my mouth and pulled out a trash bag and said thanks to my husband.<br />and then this week i asked why he didn't finish cleaning the kitchen (even though the dishes were all done)....<br />i guess i'm still a work in progressAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-8843182565788078022011-03-31T09:05:00.000-07:002011-03-31T09:13:57.902-07:00"but it's nice to say that we played in the dirt"<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">here is an email i received from a friend and woman i highly respect in response to this <a href="http://staceysaid.blogspot.com/2009/11/humble-but-youre-greedy.html">post.</a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">"Interesting. I just came across this. As you can tell I don't get out much. You thoughts are well written and spot on. I believe religion is man-made. And many Christians profess to have a relationship but they actually don't even know the Lord. But as I read this it occurred to me that repetition of action is not absent in relationship. I get up every morning and make coffee and kiss my husband of 21 years before he goes to work. Relationships grow cold not because of repetition, but because we stop seeking and seeing our mate. I too become frustrated by those who want worship without effort. Who see worship as hands raised to a song that lift their emotions, instead of hearts bent in obedience.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">And, it is not because I'm cool that I use expletives. I am just comfortable enough with my Lord to know that He will not fall off His throne. I trust His love, and know that sometimes, the lost can relate better to someone who isn't afraid of bad language. We have turned holiness into superficial stuff - modest dress, pleasant language but inside the cup is rotten. I am letting God work on the inside, and slowly the outside is reflecting that change. And Lord forgive me, but sometimes I use expletives to show Christians how little it takes to upset them.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Lori Mondshine"</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">yes she is the very same lori mondshine mentioned in the post.<br /><br />i wanted to clarify that i do agree that relationships do not grow cold because of ritual, religion or repetition of action. in fact ritual, i believe, is a natural response of our created soul, a necessary reaction to both the carnal and the divine that humans experience. and i also agree that relationships grow cold when we stop seeking. when we replace seeking with ritual.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">and the second part of her message made me laugh, out loud.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-48347655212070977692011-03-31T08:52:00.000-07:002011-03-31T09:02:48.001-07:00"your comebacks, they're quick"a few weeks ago i was talking to my sister-in-law, the same one who buried her baby. she mentioned someone making an offhand comment implying molly's death was a consequence of her parents' sin. as if god was punishing her and my brother. i was appalled and speechless. shocked at the absurdity a so-called christian (or perhaps a legitimate christ-follower who is gravely mistaken) could utter about his lord.<br />cara's reponse?<br /><br />"you don't know my god."<br /><br />those words have been echoing in my mind ever since she said them. i don't think god is above punishment. nor consequences. but i also know he is a loving, forgiving, merciful god. a provider, comforter, counselor. a father who buried his own son.<br /><br />"you don't know my god."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-43340241847661556392011-03-08T13:31:00.000-08:002011-03-08T13:42:51.611-08:00"it kind of hurts""The art I create is an image of beauty in pain"<br /><br />my sister-in-law wrote that in her artist statement on her website. she creates beautiful pieces. but, as she stated, they are all, or almost all, inspired by the pain she is experiencing from burying her 3 day old daughter.<br />life is heartbreaking. it is painful. it hurts. and yet our god has not left us to drown in our sorrows, to suffer in the agony of loss and grief. he has blessed us with beauty. despite the pain. in the pain. as a result of the pain. it doesnt diminish the pain. but it gives us a clearer view of our god.<br /><br />to see cara's beautiful art click <a href="http://www.wix.com/caradeetz/caradeetz">here</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-26997414283415351262011-02-18T11:43:00.000-08:002011-02-18T12:05:54.595-08:00NOT a beautiful mess<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3OV7yQLFjLW6wtsVPywaIrptCwBidWHcQxZ-mqp8dTWYN_2Gd-bvA5eypdquyvX6WdacVza-gg1HjDA8Qbu73n5fdV6do83hoBpOL1BLrZJqoAEpEILx9PNbqW9q0RglRddujSLprlC91/s1600/IMG_4528.JPG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3OV7yQLFjLW6wtsVPywaIrptCwBidWHcQxZ-mqp8dTWYN_2Gd-bvA5eypdquyvX6WdacVza-gg1HjDA8Qbu73n5fdV6do83hoBpOL1BLrZJqoAEpEILx9PNbqW9q0RglRddujSLprlC91/s320/IMG_4528.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5575117990944393074" border="0" /></a><br />This is what my husband's office currently looks like. Believe it or not, this is actually a vast improvement from months past. Once upon a time (a month or two ago) boxes lined the walls, and there was no hint of organization. Today boxes only line one wall (2 or three deep) and a desk now holds some semblance of order.<br />We have lived in our house for nearly 8 months. The majority of those months Ben was not otherwise engaged (with work or flight school or anything really). Yet our office continued to look like this. Now he has started flight school, kissed every bit of his free time good bye, and I am left with this mess.<br />Today I went in there to look for an important document to scan for some of that annoying life paperwork we all deal with. After a fruitless search I burst into tears, furious with Ben for not putting his office in order before getting too busy, but mostly furious with myself. I felt helpless and out of control in "his" mess. Yet "his" mess is also my responsibility because my important documents are lost in its midst.<br />It was then that God whispered to me in one of those oh-so-annoying teachable moments. As in this physical mess, I often feel so overwhelmed and out of control with the mess of my life and sin and disobedience that I just want to give up and wallow in it. I move nowhere because I don't know where to start, much less have any idea of where I want to end up. God reminded me that though I made the mess, he has already started cleaning it up. "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Phil 1:6<br />It is comforting to know that God has already started sorting out the mess of my life, organizing and sorting and making beautiful what I have trashed. I need not throw up my hands in frustration or defeat but rather turn to the perfecter of my life.<br />The teachable moment left me with a small smile and a sigh, but the office is still a mess, and I still cannot find my document, and my husband is scheduled to be busy until we move out. I am praying that I will not have to wait until the day of Jesus Christ to see order in my husband's office again.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-53025112162907216312010-12-06T18:02:00.000-08:002010-12-06T18:21:02.248-08:00are you?early on when ben and i first joined our a small group at the church the pastor asked us about getting involved. the conversation is fairly irrelevant, except that at one point he said (and i quote)<br /><br />"if we are not feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and taking care of widows and orphans, we SUCK!"<br /><br />it is so refreshing to hear pastors use words like suck. its like speaking the vernacular. but that's not my point. his vision for the church is so basic, almost primal, and yet it feels like exactly what god is asking of us. big beautiful buildings with stained glass crosses and high tech children's ministries, in my opinion, only scare people away. but love. love invites. love speaks. love listens. love heals. "love covers a multitude of sins." (and isn't it sin that we are trying to hide inside those big beautiful buildings with the stained glass crosses??)<br /><br />then i got to thinking. am i feeding the hungry? or clothing the naked? or helping widows and orphans? doubt it.<br /><br />are you?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-11883196691334828422010-10-22T17:47:00.001-07:002010-10-23T10:54:48.600-07:00Are we there yet?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.travelvivi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Car-trip.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 350px; height: 263px;" src="http://www.travelvivi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Car-trip.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />in my very christian world perhaps one of the things i hear most is "praying for god's will for my life." small groups discuss it, pastors preach about it, and devotion writers try so often to describe it. all the talk reminds me of annoying children in the back seat of a car asking their parent's "are we there yet? are we there yet?"<br /><br />you'll know when you are there.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-31087328620434900582010-10-21T13:22:00.000-07:002010-10-21T13:53:23.655-07:00"it's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes"last night i was brought to my knees, if you will, by the magnitude of god's provision. i'm not talking things or money, but answers to prayers, silenced insecurities, a pervasive yes when everything is screaming no.<br />i am sure this journey began long before i am choosing to pinpoint, but for simplicity's sake i am choosing a moment. at some point in college i realized or was told or out of desperation started praying about my fears and insecurities, mostly regarding the future. i saw god's heart for even my smallest doubts and began to continually offer those up to him. as time went on i clearly saw his answers. how could i doubt a god who constantly delivers?<br />then we moved to alabama. prior to this move my most consistent prayer was for a good church community. we were met with not only a good church but a church that went light years past my expectations. a church that asked the same questions i asked, that didn't offer tradition as the answer, that lived and worked and fought unapologetically for christ to be known. once again, god had answered an emphatic yes to my prayers.<br />and then i was overcome by that no. the one that reminded me alabama is only temporary. this cant always be my church. god can't always answer yes.<br />and without my prompting god whispered in my ear that yes, he can always answer yes. no i cant stay here forever, and no this will not be the church i raise my kids in, but yes there is something more. something better. when i thought of losing this church it felt like something was saying no, god cant [dot dot dot]. but then god said yes. he can. always. he led us to this church, did he not? why cant he lead us to a new one? to something even better.<br /><br />note: i am not implying god always answers yes to our requests. in fact, i think he often says no to those in order to say yes to our hearts desires. even when (especially when) we don't know what those are.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07382471138989828361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-16760836321595179312010-03-04T20:17:00.000-08:002010-03-04T20:21:06.022-08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Ry1NruIgC2vncMSBF__Ets9OgEq3k8HycnG5Rg1nw296fAG4VeQja3-VZzcjAe_J5VVi1fYN99NWdk9gXwpcnsDMZuGSkSwJLPWfOkMJ7CGiKd6sQ8YmsQJEO1VK3Je5jVQiYn-IdXw/s1600-h/ladybug.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Ry1NruIgC2vncMSBF__Ets9OgEq3k8HycnG5Rg1nw296fAG4VeQja3-VZzcjAe_J5VVi1fYN99NWdk9gXwpcnsDMZuGSkSwJLPWfOkMJ7CGiKd6sQ8YmsQJEO1VK3Je5jVQiYn-IdXw/s320/ladybug.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444999385678535618" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-31358590339008614102010-01-11T17:54:00.000-08:002010-01-11T18:01:33.221-08:00"oh the wait was so worth it""Wimber described the worship event as a relational process with several stages, each of which draws the believer closer to the Father's heart. Consider the analogy of a husband and wife preparing for intimacy. They do not immediately rush into the bedroom; they take time to draw close to one another. One meaning of the Greek word for worship, poskuneo, is 'to turn toward to kiss.' Psalm 2:12 calls us to 'kiss the Son, lest he be angry.' A flowing pattern of worship, with smooth transitions between a number of songs uninterrupted by announcements and solos, prepares us to 'kiss,' to express our most tender affection to, our Lord." -Doug BanisterUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-68589064357926051372009-11-29T20:42:00.000-08:002009-11-29T20:54:16.942-08:00"humble but you're greedy"religion. people get touchy when you talk about religion. it is merely a repetition of action. a daily or weekly or monthly or annual ritual that makes you feel good. or does it? christians say that they don't have a religion but a relationship. bull crap. (one day when i'm as cool as lori mondshine i can use expletives..one day). every aspect of christianity as i know it is religion, ritual. church, communion, daily devotions. in my humble opinion, religion is what drives us away from christ. it is the opiate of the masses. it makes us feel good, or at least numb enough to shirk our responsibilities to christ. we feel semi accomplished or productive enough to not have to approach the throne. to not have to fall to our knees. to not be in need. why pray when you can read a book. why think when you can listen to someone's sermon. why worship when you can turn on a cd. or the radio. or walk into a church service. what happened to the honest, naked, impossibly difficult encounter with God? cuz it's not easy?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-63494433066402010562009-11-29T19:30:00.000-08:002009-11-29T19:31:41.293-08:00<div id="m_9_b" class="modboxin"><div style="padding-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 4px;">Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.<br /> - <a href="http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/33142.html">G. K. Chesterton</a></div><div style="padding-top: 4px; padding-bottom: 4px;"><br />Life is a long lesson in humility.<br /> - <a href="http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/1279.html">James M. Barrie</a><br /><br /><br />i liked these quotes.<br /><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-29769872929066669052009-10-15T15:27:00.000-07:002009-10-15T15:38:21.328-07:00double cycledr. widbin, my old testament prof, has this theory about the double cycle of israelite history. his first example was a comparison between adam and noah (which conveniently is a test question). The major elements shared between the stores are that of water, man, fruit, curse and chaos. When God created the world he gathered the water on the earth. Adam was created and all was well until he ate some fruit. then of course came the disobedience/sin which led to the exposure of nakedness. Then the curse. God let man live in his corruption until Noah's time. Once again the world was covered with water until God did something about it. Then Adam part 2, aka Noah. He was obedient and faithful and righteous and such until he got drunk off of the fruit of the vine he had planted. His nakedness was exposed to his son, who was consequently cursed. and the world continues in a similar corrupt chaos as in pre-noahic days.<br />i used to wonder if i could have done it better. if i were adam or eve i always wondered if i could have not sinner, if it were up to me maybe we would still be living in paradise. dr. widbin's double cycle made me realize that is not the case. adam couldn't do it. noah, the only righteous man of his time, and faithful beyond measure, couldn't do it. i couldn't either. which is probably why i was never given the chance.<br />God's grace is evident when he answers our questions founded in utter pride. when he humbles himself to reveal our foolishness to us.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-60826901328142069072009-10-09T12:00:00.000-07:002009-10-09T12:10:16.332-07:00In seminary I have been subjected to so many "new spiritual" experiences, like people speaking in tongues, people casting out demons, people with the gift of discernment, etc. All very cool and very challenging things I have had to sort through. Each new exposure has left me wondering why my all-too-baptist spirituality feels so lacking. Why don't I speak in tongues, or sense demonic movement, or know how to read people better than they read themselves? It is no foundation shaking issue, just a minor annoyance that made me question my spirituality.<br />Yesterday in class Chuck was discussing evil spirits and casting out demons as a tangent to folk religions. He read to us from Luke 10 about the 72 casting out demons. They came back so excited that they had authority over evil. Jesus reminded them, and also me, "do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." vs 20<br />It is not important what acts of the spirit i can perform. What is important is that I know Christ, that my name is written in heaven, that I will spend eternity with him. That is enough to keep me captivated for a lifetime :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-81785517157528384592009-10-08T07:13:00.000-07:002009-10-08T07:14:12.116-07:00:)I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.<br /> - <a href="http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/1435.html">Douglas Adams</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-51799014298359488672009-10-05T20:46:00.000-07:002009-10-05T21:15:49.493-07:00three times.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWTtuo9pW4Oi70ljlU6Ct7aDg5Lx_UXUuseKhOaMYxlU3aBFgixAlLqMEWjyiw071-UbeEQWJ3RCSwbmb0gZwSfeOv4oK8_MmjZA9DZm9SIaCypy3LJoMAGkbFvBx0rjRIHeIwb8AH8wI/s1600-h/20090127ThreePenguins.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWTtuo9pW4Oi70ljlU6Ct7aDg5Lx_UXUuseKhOaMYxlU3aBFgixAlLqMEWjyiw071-UbeEQWJ3RCSwbmb0gZwSfeOv4oK8_MmjZA9DZm9SIaCypy3LJoMAGkbFvBx0rjRIHeIwb8AH8wI/s320/20090127ThreePenguins.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389335828885767266" border="0" /></a><br />the other day hannah was telling me about a friend who decided which grad school to go to because she asked God to tell her which school to go to by seeing/hearing the name three times. and God delivered. and now she is at fuller.<br /><br />rewind.<br />julie asked for prayer at the missions retreat because she was once again in a place of uncertainty, of depending on God for the next step in life, and she was tired of being there. take 1.<br />today hannah and i were talking about her being in the place where she didn't know what to do with her life and if it would ever end. take 2.<br />tonight in class dr. widbin was talking about Abe's faithfulness. he never knew where he was going or what he was doing. he spent his life living on God's whim. never knowing when he would be asked to pick up and move again. to throw away the life he knew. he was comfortable with. take 3.<br /><br />ironically (or not..) tonight at midnight ben's branch choices were submitted. a topic of much uncertainty, too many pros and cons to make any sense, and one that will determine the next 5-10 years of our lives.<br />three times.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-7472090420386416972009-09-25T07:17:00.000-07:002009-09-25T07:19:06.678-07:00The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.<br /> - <a href="http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/31351.html">Flannery O'Connor</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7758622758403624619.post-40812561521725133102009-09-24T22:31:00.000-07:002009-09-24T22:38:53.732-07:00Winblog.i have succumbed to blogging. in hopes that it will enable me to sort through the brain mashing we often refer to as seminary. as well as life in general. stayed tuned.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0