Sunday, November 29, 2009

"humble but you're greedy"

religion. people get touchy when you talk about religion. it is merely a repetition of action. a daily or weekly or monthly or annual ritual that makes you feel good. or does it? christians say that they don't have a religion but a relationship. bull crap. (one day when i'm as cool as lori mondshine i can use day). every aspect of christianity as i know it is religion, ritual. church, communion, daily devotions. in my humble opinion, religion is what drives us away from christ. it is the opiate of the masses. it makes us feel good, or at least numb enough to shirk our responsibilities to christ. we feel semi accomplished or productive enough to not have to approach the throne. to not have to fall to our knees. to not be in need. why pray when you can read a book. why think when you can listen to someone's sermon. why worship when you can turn on a cd. or the radio. or walk into a church service. what happened to the honest, naked, impossibly difficult encounter with God? cuz it's not easy?
Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.
- G. K. Chesterton

Life is a long lesson in humility.
- James M. Barrie

i liked these quotes.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

double cycle

dr. widbin, my old testament prof, has this theory about the double cycle of israelite history. his first example was a comparison between adam and noah (which conveniently is a test question). The major elements shared between the stores are that of water, man, fruit, curse and chaos. When God created the world he gathered the water on the earth. Adam was created and all was well until he ate some fruit. then of course came the disobedience/sin which led to the exposure of nakedness. Then the curse. God let man live in his corruption until Noah's time. Once again the world was covered with water until God did something about it. Then Adam part 2, aka Noah. He was obedient and faithful and righteous and such until he got drunk off of the fruit of the vine he had planted. His nakedness was exposed to his son, who was consequently cursed. and the world continues in a similar corrupt chaos as in pre-noahic days.
i used to wonder if i could have done it better. if i were adam or eve i always wondered if i could have not sinner, if it were up to me maybe we would still be living in paradise. dr. widbin's double cycle made me realize that is not the case. adam couldn't do it. noah, the only righteous man of his time, and faithful beyond measure, couldn't do it. i couldn't either. which is probably why i was never given the chance.
God's grace is evident when he answers our questions founded in utter pride. when he humbles himself to reveal our foolishness to us.

Friday, October 9, 2009

In seminary I have been subjected to so many "new spiritual" experiences, like people speaking in tongues, people casting out demons, people with the gift of discernment, etc. All very cool and very challenging things I have had to sort through. Each new exposure has left me wondering why my all-too-baptist spirituality feels so lacking. Why don't I speak in tongues, or sense demonic movement, or know how to read people better than they read themselves? It is no foundation shaking issue, just a minor annoyance that made me question my spirituality.
Yesterday in class Chuck was discussing evil spirits and casting out demons as a tangent to folk religions. He read to us from Luke 10 about the 72 casting out demons. They came back so excited that they had authority over evil. Jesus reminded them, and also me, "do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." vs 20
It is not important what acts of the spirit i can perform. What is important is that I know Christ, that my name is written in heaven, that I will spend eternity with him. That is enough to keep me captivated for a lifetime :)

Thursday, October 8, 2009


I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams

Monday, October 5, 2009

three times.

the other day hannah was telling me about a friend who decided which grad school to go to because she asked God to tell her which school to go to by seeing/hearing the name three times. and God delivered. and now she is at fuller.

julie asked for prayer at the missions retreat because she was once again in a place of uncertainty, of depending on God for the next step in life, and she was tired of being there. take 1.
today hannah and i were talking about her being in the place where she didn't know what to do with her life and if it would ever end. take 2.
tonight in class dr. widbin was talking about Abe's faithfulness. he never knew where he was going or what he was doing. he spent his life living on God's whim. never knowing when he would be asked to pick up and move again. to throw away the life he knew. he was comfortable with. take 3.

ironically (or not..) tonight at midnight ben's branch choices were submitted. a topic of much uncertainty, too many pros and cons to make any sense, and one that will determine the next 5-10 years of our lives.
three times.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

stream of conciousness seminary student style

jeopardy. kraft. weather. dr widbin. finny. hearty laughing. i might. ohhhh. n as in nyack. r as in nancy. chapstick. shoe shopppppping!!! people. time for class. sweater! ponytail. dirty hair. buttbucket. hot pocket. schfiffty five. yawn. adjustment. small children. walk like a 350 lb man. sleep now and forever hold your peas. 2 months 3 lbs. haiti baby. go back. boots with the fur.
thanks renee :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
- Flannery O'Connor

Thursday, September 24, 2009


i have succumbed to blogging. in hopes that it will enable me to sort through the brain mashing we often refer to as seminary. as well as life in general. stayed tuned.